The Mindfulness Response: Self-Esteem & Self-Compassion

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Self-esteem is a larger concept than can be explained by achievements. Reflecting upon what you do well is associated with good self-esteem. Identifying areas that are problems helps us find ways to learn to improve skills. Self-esteem for one age group can be quite different for another, and it can differ between cultures and people.

LeComte, LeClerc & Wykes (2016) discuss self-esteem with those who have psychosis or other serious mental illnesses and find areas that are key building blocks to self-esteem. Their symptoms of low motivation and low self-worth can prevent them from achieving goals and keeping healthy self-esteem. With these building blocks, participants found a sense of competence.

1. Sense of Security and Stability

Where I live and being responsible for cleaning and taking care of it. Developing trust in others. How to deal with criticisms. Share strategies to overcome fear and worry.

2. Sense of Identity

Who am I? What words describe me? What makes me feel happy? What are my strengths? What can I do to improve?

3. Sense of Belonging

Helping others, volunteer jobs.

Work with a partner, value others.

Affection:  showing and appreciating others

Personal values:  share with others

4. Sense of Purpose:

Weekly goals

Changing negative thoughts into positive affirmations

Thinking positively about myself. Decide how I would like others to perceive me.

Personal strengths, and ways to improve

Taking risks

5. Sense of Competence

            Recognize personal strengths, accomplishments, and goals to meet.

What and how do I do well? The environment needed to succeed, with others or alone? With noise or quiet?

Describe myself: Use statements with adjectives to describe strengths.

Strengths and weaknesses:  Describe accomplishments and weaknesses that need more work.

Self-Rating tool:  Am I independent in some areas and dependent in others?

Acceptance: Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion

            Self-compassion questions this desire to be the best and to meet goals. It comes from a different philosophy of life. It emphasizes not judging oneself and accepting what is. It doesn’t rate and compare oneself to others. It involves common human traits that include weaknesses (Neff 2011).

            Recognizing personal values and strengths may take more than achieving a goal for each week. Sometimes the goals take longer than one week to complete. Self-compassion has a component of self-kindness which is being non-judgmental towards oneself and others. Emphasizing non-judgment in group therapy helped participants learn that accomplishments may be small, medium, or large and that there are more ways to examine a goal. Gratitude is helpful for a sense of competence.

            Adding self-compassion components to our self-esteem helps us learn to understand ourselves uniquely. Learning not to judge yourself by the number of awards received is new. Participants recalled childhoods of hearing expectations that they would have high self-esteem and be respected only if they earned high grades, received awards, got into the best colleges, got job promotions, had a high salary, and had successful relationships.

            Group discussions around self-compassion and self-esteem created new ways to consider themselves. One participant told others about separately thinking of myself and began to see myself differently. The group discussed how they could lower their frustration level by including self-kindness.

            American culture stresses achievements. Being the best, getting the most awards, and being at the top of their class are important. Many group members discussed needing help from others and taking more time to complete these recommended steps. They felt they would fail. Participants talked about the need to be perfect or nearly perfect to do a project, and how sometimes it meant they could not start the project because they were afraid, they couldn’t do it perfectly. Perfectionism affected their ability to have good or healthy self-esteem.

            Self-compassion questions this desire to be the best. It comes from a different philosophy of life. It emphasizes not judging oneself and accepting what is. It doesn’t rate and compare oneself to others. It involves common human traits that include weaknesses.

Questions About Self-Esteem

What early childhood messages did I hear that influenced my self-esteem?

Do I consider myself a success or a failure?

Must I compare myself to others?

The Mindfulness Response and Self-Compassion Skills

            The Mindfulness Response realizes that people who experience psychosis, PTSD, substance abuse, and mood disorders need numerous skills to address the intensity of the symptoms. The group discussed how they move between different realities with active symptoms. The symptoms can interrupt their daily routine. The symptoms that a person faces include trauma hallucinations, delusions, special messages, dissociation, feeling that others can read their mind, or they can read other’s minds, paranoia, flashbacks, and nightmares. These symptoms produce more anxiety and depression. People may turn to substance use disorders to try to manage the intense symptoms.     

            The Mindfulness Response uses self-compassion to teach tolerance and patience. The group learned to gain distance from the intense mood, trauma, or psychosis symptoms with the help of self-compassion. It reminds us to be kind to ourselves when going through behavior changes and trying to break old habits.

Life Experiences and the Recovery Process

Recovery can bring excitement and adventure

Sobriety

Wisdom from experiences

Spirituality / Religion

Knowledge of the disease process

Creativity in smaller things each day

Understanding oneself in a new way

Setting personal goals that I can reach

Future Discoveries can be fun, not scary

            The recovery process can be different from one episode to the next. Symptoms can vary. The body can change as we age and teaches us to apply patience to recovery. Working with a team of healthcare providers will enable us to gain insight into our mental and physical health.

Reminders of Self-Kindness

I am doing the best that I can.

Other people have made mistakes.

From mistakes come innovative ideas, inventions, or a movement.

Become Non-Judgmental

            The group discussed being non-judgmental to help gain distance from the troublesome emotions, the situation, and the ruminating thoughts. The participants were advised not to criticize themselves or swear at themselves. Try to be non-judgmental with others. It helps to slow down the racing thoughts.

An Attitude of Patience.

            The group discussed patience with the healing process. Not every participant was able to be patient. The group talked about how everything will get done in its own time. We complete more tasks when we learn to accept our symptoms, work with them, and acknowledge them. It may take longer than expected, but tasks get done. Participants explained how they applied self-compassion concepts of self-kindness, non-judgment, and didn't get down on themselves for being slow to complete chores or goals. They told others that they focused better when they didn't criticize or swear at themselves. Participants applied patience to their daily routine and noticed that it helped increase concentration. The group discussed how more time was needed, but the ultimate goal was completed. They agreed that the goal completion was important. The group discussed how patience allowed creativity to bloom and grow, and they had more ideas.

            The group reviewed concepts from self-compassion and tried to use self-compassion daily. Participants talked about how they applied it to symptoms of anxiety or depression, psychosis, trauma, and self-esteem. Self-kindness and being non-judgmental created a new relationship with their inner selves, which can be overly critical.